This summer, for the first time in my life, I was the — recipient? beneficiary? some (not me!) would say victim — of a surprise birthday party. It was a delight through and through, but the thing I keep marveling at is how genuinely surprising it all was, from the guest list to the menu to the activities. I knew ahead of time only the time and the place, and so was treated to the rare experience of nearly 24 hours of pure discovery. I arrived for the celebration full of anticipation but without expectation, an agenda-free participant in the unfolding of the day.
It is so easy to research, plan and curate every millisecond that it almost seems irresponsible not to. You can virtually tour a hotel room before you book it, try on a jacket before you buy it, discuss a parenting technique before you endeavor it. If it’s purchasable, rentable, consumable or conceivable, you can find a review of it. I’m not complaining: The very fact that one can watch a video of a surgeon performing a procedure before scheduling a consultation is pretty incredible. I’m so accustomed to over-investigating everything I buy or book that I rarely stop to consider the toll.
Remember not knowing? I barely do. I was telling a Gen Z friend recently about finding my first apartment in New York City. “You used to line up to get the Village Voice rental listings when the paper came out on Tuesday nights,” I rhapsodized. “Oh, and The Voice published photos of the places with the listings?” my friend asked. No, I told him, there was just text! And not much of it! You had to call to find out when you could go see the place! No way to send photos to anyone else for validation, no easy way to research the landlord or the neighborhood. I felt like I was describing steering a ship by celestial navigation. But somehow, even without this information, I found a perfect, semi-affordable jewel box of a one-bedroom that I lived in happily for 15 years.
It’s easy to sentimentalize minimal-information living. A recent piece in The Times described restaurants that hold back details about their establishments in an effort to “revive a long-lost spirit of romance and adventure.” Some of these restaurants have deliberately cryptic websites, or no website at all. Others decline to publish their menus unless a prospective guest requests it. I love the idea of going into a dinner knowing as little as possible, but I’ll admit it’s handy, if not essential, to consult a website to see if one’s dietary restrictions can be accommodated, or to get a sense of the restaurant’s prices before committing to a reservation.
But the idea here, that less information might make for a better experience, is one I want to pursue. We’re careful to avoid spoilers for books and movies, but we don’t tend to think about other pre-received information in the same way. We know that novelty is key to happiness, but we’re researching the bejesus out of our lives and any possibility of surprise is eliminated.
I wrote recently about how my brain’s hard drive seems to be at capacity. Much of its space is packed with discovery and due diligence, space that could, theoretically, be used to store memories of unscripted adventures. Surprise parties are occasional things, and typically elaborate — that kind of novelty isn’t the stuff of everyday. But it might be interesting to engineer a surprise morning, a surprise hour, to deliberately not research the thing before you try it. I’ve had this fantasy since childhood of going to the airport and just buying a ticket for the next flight to the first location that sounds appealing. This extreme pursuit of novelty might be unrealistic, but going to dinner at a restaurant without looking at the menu ahead of time seems pretty low-stakes, and it might be enough to yield at least a tiny bit of accidental delight.
For more
Novelty can lead to awe, and a bit of awe can improve your health.
How to add more play to your grown-up life.
“People tend to think of not knowing as something to be wiped out or overcome, as if ignorance were simply the absence of knowledge. But answers don’t merely resolve questions; they provoke new ones.” The case for teaching ignorance.
THE WEEK IN CULTURE
Film and TV
In “Anora,” a Palme d’Or-winning film about the romance between a sex worker and a rich scion, Mikey Madison gives a career-making performance, Alissa Wilkinson writes.
“Brothers,” a buddy comedy starring Josh Brolin and Peter Dinklage, is one of nine movies our critics are talking about this week.
The Netflix documentary “Sweet Bobby” tells a sinister tale of a decade-long catfishing scam.
Music
Liam Payne, a singer who rose to fame as a member of One Direction, died at 31 after falling from the balcony of a hotel in Argentina. His fans and collaborators shared their grief.
Ka, a Brooklyn rapper and New York City firefighter, died at 52. Hear seven songs that show how he made rap on his own terms.
The New York Philharmonic’s Afromodernism festival shines a light on Black artists, who are vastly underrepresented in classical music.
Art
“Siena: The Rise of Painting, 1300-1350,” a major survey of early Italian religious art at the Met, is the kind of show that we rarely see at big museums today, Holland Cotter writes.
Collectors are arriving for the inaugural Art Basel Paris fair. The Paris art scene has been on the rise in recent years.
Other Culture Stories
The Victoria’s Secret fashion show returned, six years after it was canceled in the wake of #MeToo. It shouldn’t have come back, Vanessa Friedman writes.
ByteDance, the Chinese parent company of TikTok, already publishes digital books. Now it’s moving into print.
A new historical marker in Miami Beach pays tribute to Desi Arnaz of “I Love Lucy.”
Lillian Schwartz, who was one of the first artists to use the computer to make films, died at 97.
THE LATEST NEWS
2024 Election
Kamala Harris and Donald Trump converged on Michigan yesterday, where they are competing over a small pool of undecided voters who could determine the battleground state.
Harris suggested that Trump, who has pulled out of interviews, is physically unfit to be president. “If you are exhausted on the campaign trail, it raises real questions about whether you are fit for the toughest job in the world,” she said.
Trump falsely claimed that the government staged the Jan. 6 Capitol attack and compared his supporters imprisoned for their actions on that day to Japanese Americans interned during World War II.
The judge overseeing Trump’s Jan. 6 criminal case released nearly 1,900 pages of heavily redacted evidence. But much of the visible evidence was previously known.
Tim Sheehy, the Republican nominee for Senate in Montana, says he was shot in the arm while serving as a Navy SEAL in Afghanistan. But a SEAL colleague says Sheehy never mentioned a gunshot wound, and a park ranger says Sheehy admitted to accidentally shooting himself.
More than 353,000 voters cast ballots in North Carolina on Thursday, a state record for the first day of early voting.
Other Big Stories
A top Hamas official said that the death of the group’s leader, Yahya Sinwar, would not change its demands in cease-fire talks with Israel.
Experts believe Sinwar’s death will shake but not topple Hamas. U.S. officials hope his successor, or successors, will agree to pause the fighting to release hostages.
Cuba’s power grid failed, plunging the entire country into darkness. The island nation has lacked enough fuel to run the power grid for week weeks, causing hourslong blackouts.
A federal judge sentenced a Brooklyn man to five life terms in 1997. This week, the judge freed the man, saying that sentence had been too harsh.
Self-dealing, nepotism and conflicts of interest are widespread at many of the nonprofit groups that run New York City’s homeless shelters, a city report found.
CULTURE CALENDAR
📺 “What We Do in the Shadows” (Monday) Even a show about the undead has to end sometime. “What We Do in the Shadows,” a comedy about vampires who try to conquer America and instead molder in a Staten Island mansion, enters its sixth and final season on FX. (Six seasons? That’s an eternity in cable years.) Giddy, louche and occasionally very gross, the show is stacked, like coffins in a crowded mausoleum, with an international cast of comedy greats. And its macabre humor also allows for surprising sweetness. It turns out that even characters who are not technically alive can still grow.
RECIPE OF THE WEEK
Gochujang Chicken With Roasted Vegetables
As the days grow shorter and the air turns crisp, Yewande Komolafe’s sheet-pan gochujang chicken with roasted vegetables is a colorful, fuss-free meal for a chilly autumn weekend. Spiked with grated fresh ginger, the spicy-sweet gochujang glaze on the mix of squash, turnips and scallions caramelizes as it all roasts, filling the kitchen with its savory, warming scent. Paired with crisp-skinned chicken, it’s a simple yet hearty dish that brings the cozy flavors of fall to your table in the most satisfying way.
REAL ESTATE
The Hunt: To be closer to family, a couple left Philadelphia and moved to the Hudson Valley. Which home did they choose? Play our game.
What you get for $3 million: A 1906 Craftsman in Denver; a townhouse in Washington, D.C.; or a Queen Anne Revival in Fredericksburg, Va.
T MAGAZINE
Click the cover image above to read this weekend’s edition of T, The Times’s style magazine.
LIVING
Comfort above all: People are wearing bedroom slippers on city streets.
Spiritual healing: A mother and daughter — one a psychic, the other a skeptic — try to reconnect in Sedona, Ariz., America’s New Age capital.
D.I.Y. groups: With help from Facebook groups and workshops, home improvement is becoming far more inclusive to people beyond straight men.
ADVICE FROM WIRECUTTER
Homemade delight for December
If you dream of opening a door to an itty-bitty delight every day during the holiday season, don’t wait: Advent calendars tend to go out of stock well before December. To kick-start your search, our gift experts have gathered their favorites for the year, which include mini Lego builds, actually good beauty products and nostalgic sweets. If you’re feeling ambitious, you can make your own. Most craft stores sell unpainted, pre-assembled wooden Advent calendars that you can decorate and fill. As you think about filling each slot, aim for high-quality, delightful gems, like teas, soaps and chocolates. Anything that’s not a junky gimmick destined for a landfill will be sure to please. — Brittney Ho
For a weekly gift guide from Wirecutter sent straight to your inbox, sign up for The Gift.
GAME OF THE WEEK
New York Yankees vs. Cleveland Guardians, A.L.C.S.: Pop quiz: When was the last time the Yankees reached the World Series? It was 2009 — 15 years ago. While the Yankees feel like a postseason juggernaut, they haven’t been one lately. But this year’s team may finally change that. Aaron Judge, Juan Soto and Giancarlo Stanton are a formidable power-hitting trio, and the bullpen had looked nearly flawless in the playoffs, before blowing a wild Game 3 in Cleveland. The Yankees now lead the series, 3 to 1, and the possible World Series matchups are enticing — either the hometown rival Mets, or the historic rival Dodgers. Game 5 is tonight at 8 p.m. Eastern on TBS and Max
NOW TIME TO PLAY
Here is today’s Spelling Bee. Yesterday’s pangram was founding.
Take the news quiz to see how well you followed this week’s headlines.
And here are today’s Mini Crossword, Wordle, Sudoku, Connections and Strands.
Thanks for spending part of your weekend with The Times. — Melissa
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